can never be in love like i used to.
2012/04/09
What would we be in 10 years down the road?
I just can’t help but to stay bitter and so outta love to spare on anything in my life right now. Simplest things like taking care of my cat giving him love, i couldn’t. I don’t enjoy being anything of what i am now. I abhor my mom for creating unecessary connections with my ex-boyfriend. I hate it even more when she stalks me excessively on facebook and even during my daily routine. I’m so irritated by the fact that my ex-bf sents me msges and spam calls on my phone. I don’t want to find a job and meet new people. I could stay in bed as forever.
Dear god, just what has become of me? Was browsing my facebook and it seems like everybody is getting on with life filled with romance and success. I’m not even close to blaming anyone for what i am, i just don’t know how to turn it around, turn me around. I’m in an utter mess.
Perhaps sending me off to a new land is the right thing for me. Unventured territory with completely unknown humans, breathing in a new environment would straighten out what i am.. I don’t know… Honestly, part of me couldn’t completely come in terms with the fact that i’m gonna be all alone with my sister living without my past. Yeah, probably sounded contradicting.
5296.3 miles away, 7 months counting down.
like a firefly.
You know, people always thought that I tend to forget about the history easily and that it doesn’t affects me nor whatsoever just because i appear to be normal.
They always tells me how painful it is and describing that they’re living a hell. Told me to make a decision now or just disappear in their lives.
But one thing they never mentioned was me. You’re hurt, am i not hurt? What about me?
It’s not as though my feelings is a great deal since we’re no longer dating. It’s quite contradicting. Guess blogging would be the most appropriate way to express my feelings to.
Sigh… always left alone.
2012/01/22
” God made woman from man’s rib, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be walked upon, but from his side to be his partner in life, from under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him. “
A season to love, merry christmas.
Was never ever an excited fan of festive seasons such as the lovey dovey Valentine’s day, rowdy Chinese New Year or jiggly Christmas.
Maybe because i wasn’t as happy. To be honest, i can barely remember anything from my past Christmases i’ve spent. Be it with who, did what, at where, i can’t remember. Oh wait, there’s one Christmas which i remembered, it was a few good years ago, when i spent a crazy Christmas night with my high school friends squeezing with the massive crowd spraying fake snow at people along Orchard road. Yea, fond memories. I have to say that, the people who are in my life, plays a very important part in my life. It is them who created lasting memories for me. I sincerely want to thank them for making wonderful impacts in my life.
Well, this Christmas, nothing remained the same. Change is constant, this year, everything changed except for two things. I feel that i’m so damn lucky, on top of the world and I’m still spending Christmas in Orchard, but not with the sea of people who are currently sticking shoulder to shoulder, gasping for air and space while “enjoying” Christmas along Orchard road. I’m here, with only my boyfriend Stanley, rejoicing to this festival of love. Not necessarily just boy/girl relationship kinda love, but also family love, friendship, self-love. Feeding each other oreo cheese cake and listening to Larc en ciel music while waiting patiently(yes, without the IM) for the clock to hit twelve before exchanging merry christmas greetings naturally followed by a big hug and kiss. Not forgetting opening presents! Yeah, we’re really good “children” this year. Maybe that’s why Santa blessed us with L.O.V.E. =)
I never really know what is the standard definition of LOVE is, but to me, this, now, is love. I love my family, i love my friends, especially Vivian, Qing, LK(Cheers to 9 years and to more coming years ahead), my team mates, my boyfriend. These people never ever failed to support me in anyways or in whatever i do. Thank you.
Joy to the world, merry lovely christmas to you.
maybe the reason why i sleep and sleep and sleep so so much is because when i’m asleep, i’m temporarily not facing the world and reality.
i’ve been constantly sleeping unusually long..
